Added: Jermanie Savard - Date: 26.01.2022 14:05 - Views: 25766 - Clicks: 3285
The man in front of me glanced back and smiled. He looked so kind. I had an overwhelming impulse to ask him to hug me. When I got to my car, I burst into tears. I finally had to admit how lonely I felt. He has a ball game or a meeting nearly every night. He has time for everyone except me. I want a husband. No one expects it to happen. Is this a short-term situation I can live with or a long-term situation that needs to change? Blaming yourself. Both Billie and Diane initially felt guilty about their loneliness.
Billie was certain that her painful loneliness meant that she had somehow failed. And Diane felt like an ingrate when she complained about a husband who was faithful, family-oriented, and involved in worthy activities. She thought she needed to change the way she felt. Blaming your spouse. Billie blamed Steve for being self-absorbed and cutting her out of his life. Yet she missed the real source of his behavior—depression rooted in a business venture at the edge of failure. Thinking your marriage is doomed or at least condemned to mediocrity.
Such thinking only deflects you from the task of finding a workable solution. Write a list of the kinds of activities and changes that will relieve your loneliness. Ask yourself if the items are realistic. It is realistic to ask for extra effort. Next, ask if the suggested changes on your action list are sufficiently specific. And we need to go on dates at least twice a month. Once you have your list, share it with your spouse, but this may not be easy. Billie found it difficult because Steve hates to talk about feelings.
What do you do if your spouse grows angry, defensive, or more withdrawn? Carefully explain the intensity of your feelings and how important it is for you to have his or her help in coping with your loneliness. Negotiate the items on your list. As you discuss them, you may come up with some additional ones.
Select several items and develop a plan of action. He agreed. So their plan of action called for Ben to limit his activities to Saturday morning Little League games and Thursday evening Boy Scout meetings. As they negotiated, Diane realized that a part of her loneliness involved a need for personal growth. Finally, they decided to reserve Friday nights as their date night. Whatever the cause, you can attack marital loneliness if you work together. Be creative, knowing that the possibilities for a fresh start are endless.
And if your spouse works with you, the effort will pay off in enhanced intimacy—the best remedy for marital loneliness. articles that highlight writing by Christian women at ChristianityToday. in the conversation on Facebook or Twitter. More Newsletters. Jump directly to the content.
Log In. It doesn't have to stay that way. Try these ideas to bring your spouse closer. But Lonely. Free CT Women Newsletter. Address. Subscribe to the selected newsletters. Tags: Friendship ; Intimacy ; Loneliness ; Relationships. Read These Next. Comments in the conversation on Facebook or Twitter. SHARE tweet share link print. Issue Archives. Coming Home Weekly.Married or lonely lady
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