Added: Bethanne Nagy - Date: 04.04.2022 07:55 - Views: 23565 - Clicks: 8861
Last week, the highly successful wife of New York Gov. Why did she support the two-timer? Her mother-in-law went through it and got a divorce. But Hargrave felt for Silda Spitzer. The Spitzers are the latest in a chain of publicized indiscretions where the wife not only stays put, but stands by her man: from Hillary Clinton to Wendy Vitter and Kathy Lee Gifford.
Public or not, what motivates someone to stay after his or her spouse has an affair? In her 25 years of research and consulting on extramarital affairs, DearPeggy. She cautions couples from seeking divorce right away. Vaughn and other experts say the reasons people stay say a lot about gender differences, and how we approach relationships. From a young age, women are taught to value relationships, says Ray Campton, an ordained minister and Berkeley marriage and family therapist. Men, he says, are trained to be lone wolves. If they are stay-at-home moms or make less money than their husbands, they stay for security and the well-being of their children.
They also stay for the same reason Hillary said she stayed with Bill: She still loved him and was able to recognize his other qualities, Vaughan says. In fact, her research indicates that suicidal tendencies following infidelity are higher among male victims than women. In the past two years, Haltzman has seen more cases of female infidelity than male infidelity in his private practice, he says. In a chat room on Survivinginfidelity. According to Vaughan, men stay for very different reasons than women.
Many also suffer a ificant financial hit if they leave. Alimony and child support can put a damper on lifestyle and starting a new relationship, Vaughan says. Moreover, she adds, men are more likely to stay because they want to prove that their wives made a mistake in straying. And the shared history can be enough reason to stay in the marriage, pick up the pieces, and come out better and stronger. Even if you never wanted the tragedy to happen in the first place.
Contact Jessica Yadegaran at or jyadegaran bayareanewsgroup. If necessary, take steps toward changing jobs, schools and cities. Most people think you can forgive and forget, but rebuilding trust takes time. It is rare to completely recover from the emotional impact in less than two years. It is the willingness to answer questions that diminishes the need to know.
Unlike monogamy, you can monitor honesty that is for the purpose of strengthening a bond and rebuilding trust. If they are not effective, limit conversations to 30 minutes. Consult a therapist who specializes in couples therapy and affairs.
Ask yourselves what you need to do for the relationship and the family. Why stay with a cheating spouse? By Jessica Yadegaran jyadegaran bayareanewsgroup. You asked. Report an error Policies and Standards . More in News.Cheating wives in San Francisco
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